To sacrifice for another human being or for God is the definition of love. 
     
     I bought 4 pairs of heels and wore a pair every Sunday to church for 3 months to try to train my feet into getting used to pain. I tried to impress you because you are much taller than me. I ended up getting a pinched nerve in my leg which I had for a while.  I fasted for 21 days in January with my church. On the 21st day, I went to church with heels even though you told me you wanted to “just be friends” because you couldn’t bring yourself to sacrifice for me. A girl with bound feet and tied hands. I want to be with someone who is able to look past my flaws and see me for who I am inside.  It’s funny how initially after seeing my feet you told me it was a problem like a joke and then you tried to take it back like I am “made in the image of God.” You are right because God made my feet to grow in crooked by genetics and not from my own negligence. I take care of myself. The next day you were done with me. 


     They laid hands on the congregation with oil after 21 days. Immediately after they anointed my head the nerve pain in my leg never came back. You never came back to love me either. My moms 15 year old stick shift Scion XA died that same day. The next day we received one of the things we had been fasting for. A new car that she can actually teach me how to drive in. She never wanted to teach me in the old stick shift car for fears that I would roll back off a cliff in California. Even though I say to her “I can do anything that you can do. Please teach me.” I have no family around to teach me either. I respect my mother and I sacrifice for her. So when you broke my heart, with me my feet were bound and my hands were tied.  I spent all of February in mourning and studying my driving manual to progress. Now I finally have a car to drive in. 

     When March rolled around all I could think about was this virus and being exposed to it through my “essential job”. They shut everything down. They shut the DMV down...They shut attending church down...but they didn’t shut my faith down...Neither did you my friend.

Jesus please take the wheel. 

​To Be Continued....

     I do not think that any culture is responsible for these current events in Spring 2020. I think it was satan, but Jesus has conquered the grave. Love will win over hate. Truth will be exposed over lies. Remember: If we could only narrow it down to one or two people who are responsible, Jesus still died and sacrificed for them too. Regardless if you feel like it was intentional or by accident, I do not believe in accidents or coincidences. The only reason I am interested in the past is to know what I've got to do to be prepared for whatever comes my way from this point forward. We've got to move on and move up and progress at some point. When I was a child I would trust everything that was told to me and when I became an adult I learned to ask questions and seek the truth for myself. God is in control. Some people ask "Why would God let this happen?" There is a reason and a purpose for everything. Now there are families calling each other, pollution in Los Angeles is decreasing, and I've started my own balcony garden. You can only control your own actions in response to uncertainty. An earthly death is not the end of it all. Focus on your relationship with your Creator, Living like Jesus, and finding peace through His Holy Spirit. 
​​-@CurlyDollTati