I am currently laying in bed stuffing my face with some kettle chips made in avocado oil. I bought them yesterday and ate half the bag as I walked home from work. Walking took an hour and it was a good time to walk. There was a nice breeze and the sun was setting. I got home, took a shower, and went straight in the bed.
     This morning I made myself a bowl of honey nut o’s cereal to be on time for the 11:30 A.M. online church service. I didn't set my alarm and slept about 12 hours. I think I deserve the extra sleep time after cashiering all week during the pandemic. I have also been in a lot of pain this week from my chipped tooth that I need to get pulled. I haven't had the money to take care of it. It’s a year and a half past its due date. To go to the dentist right now means I would have to get virus tested before even getting seen. God knows I’m not into it. I pray that God gives me the strength to carry on and survive this mess. My two weeks stay cation went really fast. I enjoyed it minus all the worries about the future.  I needed that time as a refresh yet I wish I had more time minus the worries of course.  I want to work from home on good terms.  I want to focus on my passions in life.  ​

     This is Malibu the Maltipoo after her bath I gave her today.  She looks rather sleepy after resisting me grooming her for roughly an hour.  She's almost 10 years old. She is quite the handful. She has always gotten into messes, begs for food, steals food, and resists every routine.  If I pull her one direction she goes the other direction. If she doesn't get a snack she pees. Disobedience has been the norm for her. It's really sad. Maybe if she were more obedient I would take her on outings more often. She is blessed to have a patient and loving owner like myself. She thinks she owns me and doesn't even greet me when I come home from work. It's okay though. She's cute and licks me sometimes...even if it is just for food.  She's my fur baby and I love her. 

     I was walking back from the plant store to my job. I had my rolling shopping cart with me. I bought it just in case they didn't let people use the roads during mandatory social distancing.. In it I carried 3 bags of organic growing soil, 3 African marigold potted flowers, a seed starting plastic tray, and a few plastic pots. I have been obsessively trying to secure my food supply. I may not be able to change what is going on right now, but maybe I can control obtaining my own food by growing it. After all, who knows what is coming. It all feels so out of my control. I'm praying that God will blesses my garden. I was trying to make it to my moms car before 12 and I had about 20 minutes to 12. My mom and I work at the same place and share our car. My mom likes to take breaks in the car and I needed to give her the key.
     I turn my head to the right and I see a line of cars wrapped around the corner. I remembered that the thrift shop is located there. "Is this a testing center?" I wonder to myself. I also remembered that the thrift shop is also a food pantry. It was such a long line of cars. I dropped my shopping cart on the pavement. There was a. woman sitting on the grass with a guitar and her toddler age daughter. She strummed and sang to the Lord. "Jesus, Jesus...You make the darkness tremble. Jesus, Jesus...You silence fear." Immediately after I heard her singing I bursted to tears and I wept hard. In that moment I felt the power of Jesus. I'm used to going to church every Sunday and I haven't heard someone worshiping the Lord in person in over a month. I felt the presence of God. Sometimes I sing to the Lord, but I never weep at the sound of my own singing. Sometimes I sing at work, but only when I'm alone and nobody can hear me.  I also felt an overwhelming gratefulness for still having a job right now when so many people have lost their's. I'm not proud, but I have no choice. I am exposed to many people working at a grocery store. I just feel so grateful for not having to wait for food at a food pantry. I am not above it. I have had to do it before. It's important to be grateful for where you are at in life.  Nobody can truly compare their own journey to your journey.