I was walking back from the plant store to my job. I had my rolling shopping cart with me. I bought it just in case they didn't let people use the roads during mandatory social distancing.. In it I carried 3 bags of organic growing soil, 3 African marigold potted flowers, a seed starting plastic tray, and a few plastic pots. I have been obsessively trying to secure my food supply. I may not be able to change what is going on right now, but maybe I can control obtaining my own food by growing it. After all, who knows what is coming. It all feels so out of my control. I'm praying that God will blesses my garden. I was trying to make it to my moms car before 12 and I had about 20 minutes to 12. My mom and I work at the same place and share our car. My mom likes to take breaks in the car and I needed to give her the key.
     I turn my head to the right and I see a line of cars wrapped around the corner. I remembered that the thrift shop is located there. "Is this a testing center?" I wonder to myself. I also remembered that the thrift shop is also a food pantry. It was such a long line of cars. I dropped my shopping cart on the pavement. There was a. woman sitting on the grass with a guitar and her toddler age daughter. She strummed and sang to the Lord. "Jesus, Jesus...You make the darkness tremble. Jesus, Jesus...You silence fear." Immediately after I heard her singing I bursted to tears and I wept hard. In that moment I felt the power of Jesus. I'm used to going to church every Sunday and I haven't heard someone worshiping the Lord in person in over a month. I felt the presence of God. Sometimes I sing to the Lord, but I never weep at the sound of my own singing. Sometimes I sing at work, but only when I'm alone and nobody can hear me.  I also felt an overwhelming gratefulness for still having a job right now when so many people have lost their's. I'm not proud, but I have no choice. I am exposed to many people working at a grocery store. I just feel so grateful for not having to wait for food at a food pantry. I am not above it. I have had to do it before. It's important to be grateful for where you are at in life.  Nobody can truly compare their own journey to your journey.  

     I do not think that any culture is responsible for these current events in Spring 2020. I think it was satan, but Jesus has conquered the grave. Love will win over hate. Truth will be exposed over lies. Remember: If we could only narrow it down to one or two people who are responsible, Jesus still died and sacrificed for them too. Regardless if you feel like it was intentional or by accident, I do not believe in accidents or coincidences. The only reason I am interested in the past is to know what I've got to do to be prepared for whatever comes my way from this point forward. We've got to move on and move up and progress at some point. When I was a child I would trust everything that was told to me and when I became an adult I learned to ask questions and seek the truth for myself. God is in control. Some people ask "Why would God let this happen?" There is a reason and a purpose for everything. Now there are families calling each other, pollution in Los Angeles is decreasing, and I've started my own balcony garden. You can only control your own actions in response to uncertainty. An earthly death is not the end of it all. Focus on your relationship with your Creator, Living like Jesus, and finding peace through His Holy Spirit. 
​​-@CurlyDollTati