 Why Can’t You Just Notice Me? Have you ever binged social media? You stay online for hours in hopes to get a reaction out of someone from your most recent post. You stay online in hopes that one of your friends or followers will send you a message. It’s like waiting by the telephone in the 90’s just hoping that someone will invite you out with them. As the waiting gets longer the feeling for validation through a “heart” or “like” gets even more intense. You start to take selfies now, but you didn’t get that dressed up today so now you feel like you’re not beautiful because the camera lies to you. You go in your closet and rip your clothes off the hangers trying everything on and nothing seems to fit right. You find that one top that shows a little extra and those jeans that fit snug. You look in the mirror and say “I look cute.” You start taking photos that you shouldn’t be taking. “Oh my gosh. If my crush would just notice me! If only my photo would go viral. Then I would never need to clock in or go to school. I never have any time for me anymore.” You’ve created an atmosphere of being alone and now you just don’t have anyone to notice you because you’re almost invisible. You’re only seen when you go to work or school. Why are you searching for other people to validate you through a computer? You want people to notice you because you think it will bring you riches, popularity, and love. Riches. You want people to notice you because you think it will bring you riches. Know that riches don’t mean everything. God wants your finances to be blessed because with a giving heart He knows that you will do good things on the earth. He wants you to be a light for all people to see when you do good deeds. A lot of people want wealth because of the freedom that it brings. Money buys them things that they can use to enjoy their life. It’s okay to spend money on yourself when you are rich, but it’s not okay to overindulge and be selfish with your money. It’s not okay to waste money. God can easily take your money away at any time. If you ask why people stay rich while they are wasteful with their finances just know that they are not rich in wisdom. God has a plan. It is not a revengeful one because God is a good Father. It is a plan that works out for the good of the world. It is a plan to get the people who are open to His word and His plan saved. If you don’t have riches or maybe you don’t even have a dollar to spare, don’t be discouraged. Stay encouraged. It is a time to be wise and creative with your money. Growing up I did not have a lot of money to spend on toys, popular brands of clothing, and quality food. I learned to only buy what I would use and appreciate what I had to play with. I learned to be creative with my outfits. I stitched together old pieces of fabric. I developed confidence to wear them to school. I learned how to compare prices to get the most for my money. It is time for you to grow into the person that God called you to be and develop good character traits like patience, kindness, and a giving spirit. Popularity. Popularity is something that a lot of people strive for because popular people are in the spotlight. You can see them and you get to know famous people through what they display for you on social media. Sometimes a famous person can be molded to look like someone they are not by their manager or even people that don’t like them. Famous people have a lot of people around them constantly to help them maintain an image but they don’t necessarily know who their real friends are. Some people stick around them for the benefits of being around a famous person. They believe that their lives will be leveled up because they know someone that everyone seems to know. Famous people can be popular or not popular. Sometimes famous people are extremely criticized for what they do. A lot of the criticism is meaningless. Sometimes popular people are not famous, but they are well known in their community or have a fan base. Just because a lot of people know them doesn’t mean they are happy. It doesn’t mean that they are loved by those people. It doesn’t mean they feel fulfilled or do good deeds for humanity. Sometimes God will ask a person to do more for the people around them. The one time a popular person feeds the homeless, it is captured on camera for everyone to see. You automatically form an opinion based off of that. Try to form a better opinion on a person by doing your research on the history of their goodness. Jesus Himself left a track record in the Bible of all the good deeds He has done because He knew that to effectively communicate with humans he needed proof and a record. He knew that we would form opinions based off of evidence and for some people, it still wasn’t enough to leave a track record of dying on a cross and rising again for the sins of the world. God wants us to do our good deeds out in the open for everyone to see. If you have an issue with yourself not being popular or famous work on your personal character traits like being generous or a giver. Help people when people are looking and when people are not looking. Fame and popularity is NOT more important than loving God and loving people. Love Love is patience and kindness. Love is putting others needs before your own. Love is favor and grace. Love does not put want first, but it puts giving first. If you want an example of what real love is just look at the story of Jesus. Please do not mistake want and entitlement feelings for love. Don’t mistake chest pains or goosebumps for love. Don’t mistake spiritual bonds or mirroring for love. You will be heavily disappointed when you realize the sharp reality. A lot of people all over the world still don’t understand love. Lack of understanding contributes to divorce and broken hearts. You want your crush to notice you. I get it. Him noticing you will most certainly put you in the running for a love connection. If you are going to marry and are going to stay married you need a bond that is thicker than having sex, having a child, having the same hobbies, liking the same music, or requiring your husband to fill your voids. You need a bond that is thicker than being a “power couple.” You want him to notice you but noticing your curves, hair color, and beautiful eyes before noticing your heart will set the tone for the relationship. It is very difficult to backtrack. A man that is ready to court you will notice your beautiful heart before anything else. You must set the tone to meet him before he comes along. Perhaps you already know him. You must work on your heart first and grow spiritually before you accept an invitation to even awaken love. Do not spend so much time placing how you look before tackling areas of your heart.
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 Gossip Girl “Please Don’t Talk About Me to Bring Me Down.” Consider not talking about other people to bring them down. A close friend of mine once said “You can build up a lot of hate in your mind.” In relation to talking about another person continuously. The things that people have done to you might have not even been that bad. Maybe a person is a loving and friendly person towards you. You hear gossip about them and your mind builds the person that you invision them to be. Maybe a person has done something that is terrible towards you. If you dwell on the past you won’t be able to heal. The truth is, people are people. There is a difference between good and bad behaviors, but we all have souls. The world will get farther if we show genuine love towards one another instead of putting other people down by gossip. Past Experiences Shape How People React Imagine yourself in a persons shoes before you talk about them. You were born into this world and the generations before you set up how your life is going to be. Your dna was selected by God. In it comes the highs and lows of your ancestors. There was a study done on human dna. Research discovered that when a person experiences something that is traumatizing, their body goes into fight or flight mode. Your ancestors experiences might have been the reason for your anxiety issues. That information is stored. Your family unit whether the experiences are good or bad molds you. If you are able to know the story of your previous generations, you are able to pinpoint why you respond to feelings in certain ways. Consider that before you gossip about someone. Be grateful to be yourself. Environment Shapes How People React Someone is doing something out of character? They didn’t respond in a way that you expected them to respond? They were not exposed to your exact same experiences. They don’t have your same DNA or social expectations. They don’t have your same family dynamic or friend support system. It takes years of people living in the same environment or different environments for peoples minds to become cloudy. It can even take seconds of learning from an experience to decide that you aren’t going to respond in the same way again. It is hard for people to see past what they are exposed to. Gossip doesn’t help people change thier environments. It just breaks people down in the minds of the people who are around them. Don’t make a mistake because it also breaks down the people around them who are the gossipers. It brings out insecurity from the mouth of the gossiper. God wants you to learn how to control your mouth and use your mouth for His glory. Know Who You Are Through Your Creator There is a strength that comes from knowing who you are. You get to know and value yourself by knowing your Creator. Through your Creator you find your purpose. Everyone has multiple purposes that are connected to each other, but not the same. Instead of talking about someone in a negative light and spreading negativity to dim the light they have, offer them prayer and encouragement. Through your mouth speak light in the lives of people and yourself. Take up an interest in other peoples real and true lives. Take up an interest in people who are different from you too. Show genuine love towards people and they will open up with you. You may realize that you have a lot more in common with people than you thought. In that moment you can offer words of wisdom and offer to pray with them. If you can’t get a person to open up ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in how to pray for a person. In the times where you can’t pray with them directly, extend out your arm in their direction and use your voice to declare peace, love, and victory through Christ Jesus over their lives in a voice that only God can hear. How to Interact With The Person You Feel Prompted to Gossip About Sometimes not getting involved socially can be what you need. Sometimes keeping your conversations limited and surfacy can temporarily be the best thing. Ex; (It’s a nice day outside. I like your outfit. How was your vacation?) Deep topics require serious responses. As much as I would like to say that you can get along and be friends with anyone, sometimes it’s not that simple. You can change your heart and want to be open, but that person could be closed off, not trustworthy, and toxic to you. You are looking out for yourself if you know how to tell the difference between a friend and an acquaintance that does not genuinely care about you. Do not tell your personal business to people that don’t genuinely care about you unless you are mentally prepared to handle the criticism. Putting yourself in a vulnerable place might be necessary to build trust in your relationships and friendships, but don’t take it lightly. Keep your topics about business or your schoolwork if you need to interact with someone you are not comfortable with through work or school. If you see potential for growth in the relationship, be prepared to be vulnerable. Just be careful who you trust. Remove Yourself From The Conversation Remember to remove yourself from the conversation if you feel prompted to talk about someone to spread a gossip. If you think it’s okay to test key words to force people to question you, then you are testing the waters. It’s not fair. Write down what you were going to say on a piece of paper and then scribble it off and shred the paper. Throw that gossip in the trash where it belongs. Once you master not talking about others, you must master walking away from gossip. There is a power in walking away from the conversation and even steering it in another direction. Fine tune choosing your questions so that it doesn’t get your conversation listener to talk about other people. If you are prompting other people to talk that makes you just as guilty of gossiping. To steer a conversation in another direction try asking people what they are doing or what they would do on their next vacation and plan it with them. Don’t Make Gossip Your Entertainment Sometimes we feel we need to talk about people to entertain ourselves and our minds. We need to have a wow factor in our day. We want to talk about something exciting and different that prompts us to have a conversation with others. Talking about others could temporarily make us feel better about ourselves and make us forget about our problems. Talking about others could lead to finding commonalities with our peers and forming alliances. We get to know the opinions of others on taboo topics. If we talked about these taboo topics in our own lives we would fear judgement and criticism. Sometimes things are not what they seem. A person could talk about a person kissing their boyfriend behind the school and getting in trouble for it. In reality, they secretly wish they could and they are seeking the approval of their peers or subliminally affirmation for not doing it through condemning others. Seek God for affirmation in the decisions that you should and shouldn’t make. Why should we feel better about ourselves by judging anothers situation? We are not in the same position as them. Why should we form an alliance based off of hate when it will not stop there? That hatred will continue to grow if we don’t sever gossips bondage ties immediately. Make Love A Priority When you make God a priority you learn how to love through Him. God will give you revelation on how to love people in the correct way. Reading your Bible seeking Jesus helps. Sometimes people don’t really know how to be accepting of love. It Is not your fault that they rejected you. It’s the experiences in their lives that molded their perception of what love should look and feel like. You need to recognize this and learn how to reject the spirit of rejection so it doesn’t have the power over your mindset and eventually your life. You find yourself taking on roles that you never wanted to take on. If you love without expectation of love in return, you are being unselfish and not self-serving. Sometimes this is what a person needs to change. If you keep spreading gossip about people, the love that they need to feel won’t get to them. Sometimes it’s like Who Me? Am I really the one? If you don’t see a transformation yet, you are at least meant to plant seeds for change. You may be the one person that steps out on faith and reveals to them what they are needing all along. The Cycle of Gossip Sometimes you as yourself are not a gossiping person at all. You invite a gossiping spirit into your life when you listen to gossip. Since you are listening to gossip you give yourself permission to gossip about the person telling the gossip. That person also grants you the permission to talk about them when they gossip. If you are unaware you can become caught up in a vicious cycle. Now since you are talking about the gossiper, the person you are telling now has the permission they need to talk about you. Be Careful that you don’t take on a persons same vibrations. You can take on their same vibration by stooping to their level and doing the things that they do. Jealousy is Toxic Jealousy is toxic to your health. If the reason you want to gossip about someone is because you secretly want to be them, realize that there is only one you. You can never become another person. You should be the best version of yourself. You yourself can change to like the same things that another person likes. You yourself can take on the attitudes and opinions of others. You can respond differently based on your experiences. You can get a new hairstyle and new clothes. You can get a new career and more money. You as yourself, the person and the soul cannot replace your soul with another persons soul. The only way you can change your soul is by accepting more light inside of it. All things light comes from Jesus. It comes from God. Are you jealous of a persons light or are you jealous of their darkness? The light of a soul has no place with the darkness that could be dormant in a persons soul. Find your light through your Heavenly Father and not another person. A direct contact is better than a filtered connection. Defining Gossip and Seeking Friendship. Gossip isn’t just talking about another person. You can talk about people without it being gossip by saying what you like about them. When it becomes gossip is when you reveal intimate details of their life that have nothing to do with you. Another type of gossip is pointing out their mistakes. People do this because they want their own mistakes to seem more normal and like they are not the only people that make mistakes. Another type of gossip is lying about the person or spreading information that you don’t even know yourself to be true. You are just as at fault of the gossip if you spread false information. You may catch yourself talking about a person who is right in front of you to a friend that you are closer with. You want to ask the person that you feel prompted to talk about a question, but it really is not any of your business. Assess the reason why you have questions. Is it because you want to feel a little more human yourself? Is it because you relate to them? Maybe there is a potential to start a friendship with this person and get on a deeper level. Don’t think that your friendships need to be limited to one friend or one group of people. You aren’t cheating on anyone if you make a new friend. No matter what type of background a person comes from give yourself the approval to get to know different people instead of only talking about them. Have self control over what you speak by giving your issues to God. Create a lot of friendships and light up someones candle through your flame.  References:https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/10486479/Phobias-may-be-memories-passed-down-in-genes-from-ancestors.html
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/slavery-trauma-inherited-genetics https://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/daily-videos/can-trauma-be-passed-to-next-generation-through-dna/ |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
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