 Purpose Over Marriage If “The One” does not find you. So What? He cannot fulfill your lifes purpose for you. Marry when it’s right or remain in bondage. Society tells little girls that when they get out of college they will attract their true love and get married. This cookie cutter picture of happiness is not always the case for everyone. With the pressure of time and societal norms women and men feel pressured to find love within a certain time period. Then they choose people that are not truly right for them. They go against their gut feelings and end up in divorce because their “true love” was not loyal or they were not loyal to the vision God has placed within them. They take things too fast and would do anything to feel loved by another. They resort with trying to change their boyfriends and girlfriends. It is good to be a positive influence and better your spouse. It is not good to pressure them into doing tasks that they don’t want to do. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like baking pies and maybe you love to bake pies, bake your own pies. If your loved one continuously complains about baking pies after trying it with you eventually it just won’t work out if baking pies is your passion. If you always try to force people to change for you, you both get exhausted. You need to have a lot in common with your spouse so that you will have maximum happiness in your relationship. You don’t want your spouse to associate you with that task they hate doing. It’s okay to like different stuff, but you need to meet in the middle and have common grounds. Loving someone is about compromising to make them happy, but don’t compromise your character and your own happiness. Don’t compromise the healthy things you love to do. Find a spouse who you can stay happy with. Often times what makes you happy is related to your lifes purpose. This scenario is not an all the time thing, but what people are good at they often end up doing repetitively and consistently their whole life. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cannot handle your passion and all that comes with it you may be in trouble. They need to adapt to your needs and you need to adapt to theirs. Relationships are about growing with that special person. If you are with someone who does not support your goals and ambitions you should ask yourself why? They should not get in the way of you using your talents and gifts for the good of the world. If you feel the need to step into your destiny your loved one needs to be down for you and down for the cause. God will remove that person from your life if you are not leading the life He has called you to live. God has put special gifts and talents within you that only you have access to claim. But does your spouse see the vision like you can? Maybe your spouse doesn’t see the vision as much as you do, but supports you in every way. That is the kind of character trait you need to look for in a future spouse. You don’t need to be in a relationship someone that you are afraid to communicate with. Ask for true love and have no problem showing it. Work out your trust issues before you get into a relationship and trust the person you are with. If either one of you are broken people your heart will have a crack in it. Ask God to lead your life. If women and men had looked to God first before choosing their mates, they would be better off. If they had asked God to show them both a true sign before getting together, their marriage would be the most blessed. If God is the leader of your life in everything else, why can’t He lead your life in what fiancé you are supposed to have? You should not fear the future in a way that makes you choose wrong. Why are you confused when the answer is as clear as day? Love is bigger than marriage. God is calling you to love every human you come in contact with and it’s not to have people all to yourself. Your soulmate is 1 in a billion and you keep stressing about one who is not right for you. You want to have children someday and you would make a great mother but you are 30 years old or whatever age that gives you stress about not having children by then. You know that marriage is the road to children. You are so stressed out about when God is going to send you “Mr. Right” that you start to see and convince yourself that “Mr. Wrong” is “Mr. Right”. You become desperate for a man. You think a marriage and a family will cure your anxiety and depression. You need to see children for what they are. They are underdeveloped people. They are precious, fragile people with purpose just as you. Yes, God gives you the ability to have children and children are a gift from God. They are souls just as you that come here by your womb, but they are not you. You don’t have Gods permission to have a child outside of a marriage. Have one outside the security of a marriage and delay your destiny. Having children the fast way and having sex without marriage is delaying your destiny. Men, women, and children lose their honor every day because sex is a sacred gift from God that should be used in a marriage. Having sex doesn’t make you a man and having children doesn’t make you a woman. God put our souls here for so many different reasons. You ought to enjoy life more as a single person and pray for your future spouse. Pray for blessings in your current family. Pray for the people around you. Be grateful for the gifts of life that God has given you whether that be your breath or your childs heartbeat. Break the cycle. Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of poverty? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of children without fathers or mothers? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of abusive behaviors in relationships? Breaking the cycle of depression? Breaking that cycle starts with you and the behaviors you are going to have. It starts with asking the Holy Spirit to come into your life. It starts with listening to that inner voice that tells you what you need to do. It does not start with going against the Holy Spirit for your fleshly desires and carnal minds. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you to instill peace, security, and love in your mind so you can give it to others. You should not listen to fear when fear tells you that you will never be married. Fear tells you that you are never going to have children or a man who loves you for you. Every void and every sense of failure that you feel, you need to give it to God. Have faith in the Lord. Your needs will be met. Every sense of not being good enough and every sense of obsession over feeling in love should be broken. Focus on positivity and being around people who you can put before yourself through true love. Make your heart available to receive genuine love. Place yourself in settings that make you feel peaceful around humans. Be around like-minded individuals who are eager to grow. You may be surprised by how God blesses you. He works in mysterious ways.
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 Go and Create A Life For Yourself
I am going out in that freezing cold rain and I am going to create a life for myself. Don’t Let The Rain Make You Stay Inside. This is your time to regroup. This is your time to take advantage of your time. If you feel stuck, find another way. Find another outlet. If you are going through getting stranded somewhere away from home don’t feel alone. There are many women who have gone through this before you. If you don’t have an example, I am one of them. Stranded in the Country I remember when I didn’t have a car and I was staying in a room at my aunts house in the country. I was not used to living in the country where everything was so far away. It seemed like it would take an hour just to walk to the grocery store. Twenty minutes to drive. I didn’t have a date of when my life would change. I didn’t have money that I could depend on coming in. I didn’t have a job or much experience working. I applied myself. My aunt had a bucket of pink paint that she never got to paint on the walls since Grandma went to Heaven. Grandma was supposed to stay in that tiny bedroom with the flower wallpaper. I asked my aunt if I could finish painting the walls and she said yes. It took me a few days and suddenly I had motivation. The color therapy was good for my brain. It was bright and cheery. I took that saying from Nike, “Just Do It” and I wrote it on a large piece of paper. I looked at it everyday to have a reason to push through the feeling of being stranded and the loss of direction. Suddenly everything that I wanted to do felt like it was possible if I just continued to work towards it. Before this I had created my website culydolltati.com and I continued to post drawings. I didn’t have internet at the time so my aunt drove me to the library and I posted on my blog there. I did have a scanner and a cellphone. On my old laptop from high school I didn’t have a professional version of Photoshop, but I had Photoshop Elements which was all I needed to get started. I always thought to myself all I need are the bare necessities for my equipment. I found beauty in the people around me and took my inspiration off of my experiences and country life. When you’re out there stranded in the peace and beauty of nature, you really get a chance to clear your mind. I knew that the goals and aspirations that I have were no match for country life so I had to move. I just didn’t know how I was going to get a job with limited access to transportation. Creativity Directed It would rain all the time where I was living. The weather made me feel even more stranded but I enjoyed my times of peace. I could hear crickets, frogs, and birds chirping. I could see fireflies, rainbows, and bunnies hopping. I could observe bees and spiders working. I could see the tomatoes my aunt planted sprouting. These things were all moving forward and I had to as well. It was inevitable. I couldn’t stay there for long. It may have been slow country life, but things would soon develop and if I had stayed where I was at who knows how south things would have gone. There’s nothing like a hard and direct answer from God. Do I do this or do I do that? This website has been a form of self expression for me and has given me a clear goal for my life of what tangible steps I can take. For that, I am grateful that God gave me this idea and these talents. For people who have little, I highly recommend that they start a business or create something with what they have. With the technology we have today it can be even easier for people to market themselves and their businesses. Don’t have an idea? Start with your own talents or skills. If college seems like it’s a tangible goal, then by all means go to college! Go to college especially if you and your family can afford it. If you can’t afford it, the hourly workforce isn’t the only place you should be spending your time if you aspire for more. God Sets Me Up For Answers My old laptop crashed. I could no longer edit drawings and post them on my own. It was much more difficult to get art to perfection and to become digitally ready with my usual short time frame. It was very upsetting, but I knew it was not the end of my business. God made it clear that I would just need to get a job to afford to buy another laptop. I needed to be able to afford food and clothing. I had another aunt that lived an hour away that I would soon stay with. If I had not asked I would have not received. I found work within a couple months and was able to get rides with her. I also got rides from coworkers. I am grateful for that help that I received during that time. Previously I had applied for so many jobs in the former state that I was living and even had a couple interviews. I didn’t have any successful call backs. I thought that I would never find a job and that I was unhirable. During my waiting period I decided I was going to volunteer at church. I served food at a church wedding. I was a model at a hair show that my aunt was involved in. From that, I built my resume. My cousin gave me a pants suit that my aunt made fit on me. It was still too big for me, but I used that to go on my interview. I thought of applying for a job at a grocery store because my former high school boyfriend worked at a grocery store and so did my crush. It would be a perfect first job. I walked into what would become my first job and realized that there was an equal ratio of Brown skinned to Caucasian people working there. Since I was a brown woman, I had a higher chance of getting hired. If at least one of the people that had the power of hiring me could see my need for a job and willingness to work for it, my mission would be accomplished. With little job experience you need to find people who are willing to have faith in you. I also saw a Distraction, a Best friend, and Laughter among other things on day one. The people I met there I would call my coworkers, my friends, and people that God sent to help along the way. God had a bigger plan for my life that He would reveal to me six months later. I could not take anyone with me although I would fantasize about the people I loved coming with me. Anyone who would survive the impact from my next move would remain within my cellphone monitor and only would be admitted to appear every now and then. Me Walking By Faith God prepared my life and set it up so that I could find my first job and move from the country to California after working there six months. With my mother we looked for a place to transfer my job. With our faith in God, we looked forward to the future. Our place to lay our heads and call our home, came in due time. My strandedness and uncertainty changed. I went from being motivated by the pink walls and the Just Do It logo to sadness because of my computer crashing. I then gained my reason to push through. I found success. With Gods help I am able to live. God gave me life and now I am able to create a life by making my contribution to the world. I am going out in that freezing cold rain and I am going to create a life for myself. No matter what the weather is, I can find a space in the midst of the storm where I can grow. I can find my air bubble. It may take time and nurturing. When you have a feeling that you are not supposed to be where you are at there is nothing that can stop you from growing when you keep resting your eyes on your goal and walking in the direction God has planned for your life.  You’re Not Ready For My Heart
Most people are not ready to handle each others hearts. When a man is walking fully in the light of Christ he is able to lead other people. That means that God will give him enough strength to resist temptation and stand strong in Gods word. A man like this will not lie to you or anyone. He will be a light in his community no matter if he’s just with you, with friends, or with strangers. A man that is ready for your heart will not test your boundaries or be selfish. A man that is ready for your heart will pray for you and himself and he will be so careful to not lead you astray by promising a future with you before the time is right. To be a strong woman in Christ means realizing that you have so much potential and you are Gods daughter. You must be so careful to not tempt the men to fall into sin like Eve did to Adam in Genesis. Do not awaken love before the time is right because then you can forfeit the perfect blessing that God has for you. How do we do this? It can be so difficult to keep from spilling your heart and inner thoughts to the people you love. Your physical need to be affectionate takes over when you really love someone because we are human. Why even let this happen when your gift of pleasure should be saved to be experienced with your husband? You can control your own body and your own mind. I would say, one of the best ways to avoid falling into lust is to not chase men. It is the mans job to choose and pursue a woman. It is a womans job to accept or decline and slow down the pace. Give him only what he should have to better himself and it is not your body that he should have if you are not married. You should just be friends with men until courtship to be married. Why should a man give everything he has to a woman who changes her mind? Why weaken the spirit of a man who was not yours to begin with? Why should you be spiritually tied to one man when he has no intentions of marrying you? Do you want an exclusive relationship because of the material and physical benefits? Are you hooked to the thought of having your partner all to yourself? You are a Queen! You are worth the extra effort to the man that you are supposed to be with. Time and distance cannot separate you both. You should not sell yourself short. And if you believe this too, and you never meet the love of your life, remember that this world we are given is a blessing. This life is a blessing, but it is only temporary. The fruits are to enjoy while we are here, but your purpose is even grander than your relationship status or how many children you are blessed with. Even your dream house is no comparison to the plans God has for you. For the girls that think their ethnic background, complexion, body shape, modesty, hair texture, religion, or job determines whether they will find love and happiness or not, please do not believe the lies that are not of God. You may be in your feelings and in your head right now and not think you are worth love to the men you love because of societies norms. Do not give up hope and faith no matter how many years you have lived. Value your mind, soul and your body. Value how you treat people and the love that is hard to show at times. You will be rewarded in Heaven for the strong character that you continue to show when you could have given up. Trust in the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Sometimes couples realize they are supposed to be together before they mature spiritually. This is fine, but what if you become more spiritually mature than your partner? What if he becomes more spiritually mature than you? Do not come in between a mans relationship with God. That is not our place as women. Our place is to lift our leaders up and be a source of light and encouragement. We should better the lives of our men and not be a burden to them. If you sense yourself falling for this trap of not loving or committing fully to someone you should show them what real love looks like. Either love fully and completely or cut emotional bondage soul ties. Love grows over time. This is true. But what does lust grow into? Selfishness, depression, anxiety, indecisive behaviors, suicidal thoughts, and loneliness. We should be so careful to build our relationships with people on a firm foundation. People never forget how we made them feel in the past. If you are too busy thinking about yourself and your future, you won’t realize all the damage you can cause to another person because you were too emotional and too blind to see the bigger picture. God gave us the gift of marriage so that we can grow His church. Two people who are strong in faith are better together than apart. The road to marriage is not meant to be a selfish one filled with lust. True love is unconditional. Love is not flighty. One week we “love” one man and the next week we are “in love” with another man. We should focused on saving our marriage lifestyle for “the one” who we can build a firm foundation with. If you need to work on yourself before joining together with another person there is nothing wrong with that. God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. We should not fear that we won’t become accustomed to societal norms of starting a family, getting married, and buying a house at age 25-35. God doesn’t work in our time frame but in His. In His purpose. We should think about the bigger picture of why we are here on this planet when choosing a mate. If your love doesn’t prove him or herself as understanding about deeper topics than food and taking notes in the church outline you must decide on what terms you will continue to be with that person. If you are in need for something deeper show the true love that you wish to feel. Study the word of God. Connect with like minded people but do not leave your husband or wife in their time of need. If you are not married, you are single. You are not tied to another person and if you think you are tied it is all in your own head. Do not be irresponsible by breaking a heart. Take responsibility for your decisions, but in everything that you do, do it coming from a place of love and compassion. It is not right for you to keep yourself from progress. By keeping yourself from progress, you are keeping them from progress as well. You can never keep God from progress, but God can forcibly divide what He has not joined together. A true union is blessed and has a firm foundation. Ladies ask yourself if the man you have accepted is truly ready to handle something as precious and as valuable as your heart. And Fellas, ask yourself if the love of your life is truly ready to give her whole heart to better you.  Indulge on Sundaze
Why? Everyone needs a break during the week to unwind and to cheat on our diets because not every day is guaranteed. That is self love. If you like ice cream eat it. If you like vegan ice cream, then eat that. So creamy and so rich. Taste a rainbow of flavors. Don’t let anyone make you feel awful for what you are eating. No matter what size you are, you are entitled to ice cream or any food that you enjoy at least once in a while. If someone is telling you that you shouldn’t eat something and gives you good reasons, if you feel convicted then don’t eat it. Maybe it is a sign that you should try alternatives. Be at least open to hear new ideas. There are so many diets out there. You don’t need to go on diets. Diets are only for short term. Change your lifestyle for your own health. Thoroughly do your research as you start new lifestyle changes that your body is not used to. If you want to go vegan, it is not good for your body to suddenly not have protein and eat a lot of soy. Find healthy and organic alternatives to meat and transition slowly. If you feel it is best for your body to continue to eat meat, then do what makes your body feel energized. Vegans should not judge you for what you eat and you should not judge vegans for what they don’t eat. Don’t fat shame people. If you feel so concerned about someone else's body take more care of yours and set a good example. Befriend people of all sizes and looks. They have a soul just as you do. Advance your relationships. Sunday is a good day to get grounded in The Word and eat ice cream. Work out all week and Sunday should be your cheat day. Eat unhealthy all week and this Sunday should be your transition to a healthy and happy life full of flavor. Indulge on Sundaze. |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
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