 Purpose Over Marriage If “The One” does not find you. So What? He cannot fulfill your lifes purpose for you. Marry when it’s right or remain in bondage. Society tells little girls that when they get out of college they will attract their true love and get married. This cookie cutter picture of happiness is not always the case for everyone. With the pressure of time and societal norms women and men feel pressured to find love within a certain time period. Then they choose people that are not truly right for them. They go against their gut feelings and end up in divorce because their “true love” was not loyal or they were not loyal to the vision God has placed within them. They take things too fast and would do anything to feel loved by another. They resort with trying to change their boyfriends and girlfriends. It is good to be a positive influence and better your spouse. It is not good to pressure them into doing tasks that they don’t want to do. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like baking pies and maybe you love to bake pies, bake your own pies. If your loved one continuously complains about baking pies after trying it with you eventually it just won’t work out if baking pies is your passion. If you always try to force people to change for you, you both get exhausted. You need to have a lot in common with your spouse so that you will have maximum happiness in your relationship. You don’t want your spouse to associate you with that task they hate doing. It’s okay to like different stuff, but you need to meet in the middle and have common grounds. Loving someone is about compromising to make them happy, but don’t compromise your character and your own happiness. Don’t compromise the healthy things you love to do. Find a spouse who you can stay happy with. Often times what makes you happy is related to your lifes purpose. This scenario is not an all the time thing, but what people are good at they often end up doing repetitively and consistently their whole life. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cannot handle your passion and all that comes with it you may be in trouble. They need to adapt to your needs and you need to adapt to theirs. Relationships are about growing with that special person. If you are with someone who does not support your goals and ambitions you should ask yourself why? They should not get in the way of you using your talents and gifts for the good of the world. If you feel the need to step into your destiny your loved one needs to be down for you and down for the cause. God will remove that person from your life if you are not leading the life He has called you to live. God has put special gifts and talents within you that only you have access to claim. But does your spouse see the vision like you can? Maybe your spouse doesn’t see the vision as much as you do, but supports you in every way. That is the kind of character trait you need to look for in a future spouse. You don’t need to be in a relationship someone that you are afraid to communicate with. Ask for true love and have no problem showing it. Work out your trust issues before you get into a relationship and trust the person you are with. If either one of you are broken people your heart will have a crack in it. Ask God to lead your life. If women and men had looked to God first before choosing their mates, they would be better off. If they had asked God to show them both a true sign before getting together, their marriage would be the most blessed. If God is the leader of your life in everything else, why can’t He lead your life in what fiancé you are supposed to have? You should not fear the future in a way that makes you choose wrong. Why are you confused when the answer is as clear as day? Love is bigger than marriage. God is calling you to love every human you come in contact with and it’s not to have people all to yourself. Your soulmate is 1 in a billion and you keep stressing about one who is not right for you. You want to have children someday and you would make a great mother but you are 30 years old or whatever age that gives you stress about not having children by then. You know that marriage is the road to children. You are so stressed out about when God is going to send you “Mr. Right” that you start to see and convince yourself that “Mr. Wrong” is “Mr. Right”. You become desperate for a man. You think a marriage and a family will cure your anxiety and depression. You need to see children for what they are. They are underdeveloped people. They are precious, fragile people with purpose just as you. Yes, God gives you the ability to have children and children are a gift from God. They are souls just as you that come here by your womb, but they are not you. You don’t have Gods permission to have a child outside of a marriage. Have one outside the security of a marriage and delay your destiny. Having children the fast way and having sex without marriage is delaying your destiny. Men, women, and children lose their honor every day because sex is a sacred gift from God that should be used in a marriage. Having sex doesn’t make you a man and having children doesn’t make you a woman. God put our souls here for so many different reasons. You ought to enjoy life more as a single person and pray for your future spouse. Pray for blessings in your current family. Pray for the people around you. Be grateful for the gifts of life that God has given you whether that be your breath or your childs heartbeat. Break the cycle. Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of poverty? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of children without fathers or mothers? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of abusive behaviors in relationships? Breaking the cycle of depression? Breaking that cycle starts with you and the behaviors you are going to have. It starts with asking the Holy Spirit to come into your life. It starts with listening to that inner voice that tells you what you need to do. It does not start with going against the Holy Spirit for your fleshly desires and carnal minds. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you to instill peace, security, and love in your mind so you can give it to others. You should not listen to fear when fear tells you that you will never be married. Fear tells you that you are never going to have children or a man who loves you for you. Every void and every sense of failure that you feel, you need to give it to God. Have faith in the Lord. Your needs will be met. Every sense of not being good enough and every sense of obsession over feeling in love should be broken. Focus on positivity and being around people who you can put before yourself through true love. Make your heart available to receive genuine love. Place yourself in settings that make you feel peaceful around humans. Be around like-minded individuals who are eager to grow. You may be surprised by how God blesses you. He works in mysterious ways.  You’re Not Ready For My Heart
Most people are not ready to handle each others hearts. When a man is walking fully in the light of Christ he is able to lead other people. That means that God will give him enough strength to resist temptation and stand strong in Gods word. A man like this will not lie to you or anyone. He will be a light in his community no matter if he’s just with you, with friends, or with strangers. A man that is ready for your heart will not test your boundaries or be selfish. A man that is ready for your heart will pray for you and himself and he will be so careful to not lead you astray by promising a future with you before the time is right. To be a strong woman in Christ means realizing that you have so much potential and you are Gods daughter. You must be so careful to not tempt the men to fall into sin like Eve did to Adam in Genesis. Do not awaken love before the time is right because then you can forfeit the perfect blessing that God has for you. How do we do this? It can be so difficult to keep from spilling your heart and inner thoughts to the people you love. Your physical need to be affectionate takes over when you really love someone because we are human. Why even let this happen when your gift of pleasure should be saved to be experienced with your husband? You can control your own body and your own mind. I would say, one of the best ways to avoid falling into lust is to not chase men. It is the mans job to choose and pursue a woman. It is a womans job to accept or decline and slow down the pace. Give him only what he should have to better himself and it is not your body that he should have if you are not married. You should just be friends with men until courtship to be married. Why should a man give everything he has to a woman who changes her mind? Why weaken the spirit of a man who was not yours to begin with? Why should you be spiritually tied to one man when he has no intentions of marrying you? Do you want an exclusive relationship because of the material and physical benefits? Are you hooked to the thought of having your partner all to yourself? You are a Queen! You are worth the extra effort to the man that you are supposed to be with. Time and distance cannot separate you both. You should not sell yourself short. And if you believe this too, and you never meet the love of your life, remember that this world we are given is a blessing. This life is a blessing, but it is only temporary. The fruits are to enjoy while we are here, but your purpose is even grander than your relationship status or how many children you are blessed with. Even your dream house is no comparison to the plans God has for you. For the girls that think their ethnic background, complexion, body shape, modesty, hair texture, religion, or job determines whether they will find love and happiness or not, please do not believe the lies that are not of God. You may be in your feelings and in your head right now and not think you are worth love to the men you love because of societies norms. Do not give up hope and faith no matter how many years you have lived. Value your mind, soul and your body. Value how you treat people and the love that is hard to show at times. You will be rewarded in Heaven for the strong character that you continue to show when you could have given up. Trust in the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Sometimes couples realize they are supposed to be together before they mature spiritually. This is fine, but what if you become more spiritually mature than your partner? What if he becomes more spiritually mature than you? Do not come in between a mans relationship with God. That is not our place as women. Our place is to lift our leaders up and be a source of light and encouragement. We should better the lives of our men and not be a burden to them. If you sense yourself falling for this trap of not loving or committing fully to someone you should show them what real love looks like. Either love fully and completely or cut emotional bondage soul ties. Love grows over time. This is true. But what does lust grow into? Selfishness, depression, anxiety, indecisive behaviors, suicidal thoughts, and loneliness. We should be so careful to build our relationships with people on a firm foundation. People never forget how we made them feel in the past. If you are too busy thinking about yourself and your future, you won’t realize all the damage you can cause to another person because you were too emotional and too blind to see the bigger picture. God gave us the gift of marriage so that we can grow His church. Two people who are strong in faith are better together than apart. The road to marriage is not meant to be a selfish one filled with lust. True love is unconditional. Love is not flighty. One week we “love” one man and the next week we are “in love” with another man. We should focused on saving our marriage lifestyle for “the one” who we can build a firm foundation with. If you need to work on yourself before joining together with another person there is nothing wrong with that. God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. We should not fear that we won’t become accustomed to societal norms of starting a family, getting married, and buying a house at age 25-35. God doesn’t work in our time frame but in His. In His purpose. We should think about the bigger picture of why we are here on this planet when choosing a mate. If your love doesn’t prove him or herself as understanding about deeper topics than food and taking notes in the church outline you must decide on what terms you will continue to be with that person. If you are in need for something deeper show the true love that you wish to feel. Study the word of God. Connect with like minded people but do not leave your husband or wife in their time of need. If you are not married, you are single. You are not tied to another person and if you think you are tied it is all in your own head. Do not be irresponsible by breaking a heart. Take responsibility for your decisions, but in everything that you do, do it coming from a place of love and compassion. It is not right for you to keep yourself from progress. By keeping yourself from progress, you are keeping them from progress as well. You can never keep God from progress, but God can forcibly divide what He has not joined together. A true union is blessed and has a firm foundation. Ladies ask yourself if the man you have accepted is truly ready to handle something as precious and as valuable as your heart. And Fellas, ask yourself if the love of your life is truly ready to give her whole heart to better you.  Care Completely There are those that take on the responsibility to care for and love another human being, but they are not prepared to love them completely. They fall in love at first sight with another person and they become obsessed over them for a while. When the honeymoon phase of their relationship fades, they don't love completely. They love only for a little bit. That little bit is enough to grow into unconditional love, but it is not mature. Love takes repetitive kindness and nurturing. It is very necessary that when you love someone you do not accuse or count the times when you helped them. You should not keep track of the amount of wrongs done to you because that is not real love. Love is sacrifice at the expense of your own well-being. The question remains what are you willing to sacrifice for? Some people sacrifice for animals and some sacrifice for the environment. Some people sacrifice for sports and others for government. Some sacrifice for children and some sacrifice for cars. It is important to know who you are going to remain loyal to. The human race is the most precious gift and to be one and the same with us is by Gods grace. From time began God calls us to love one another. Since God created us in His own image our first calling is to love and serve God. Our second calling is to love and serve people. Our third calling is to love and serve animals, the species that cannot fend for themselves with humans around. Humans have dominion over the animals. Our fourth calling is to love and care for plant species in the environment. We must never love these things more than we love our God. God does not want us to love the world, but to treat it with respect because it is a gift. People are one of the greatest gifts and things should be treated for what they are, replaceable. Peoples souls are not replaceable. You may be wondering what makes us qualified to love and care completely for another. I wish that I could tell you that it was simple and that you should just do it. But since actions are a part of love then it is not so simple. First comes the feeling of love and compassion and caring, but the feeling is not enough for the other party to feel loved or cared for. You must demonstrate your love. Some people think that sex is a demonstration of love, but it is not. Anyone can have sex with any person. Sex is self satisfaction and gratification. It is self pleasure. It is what makes people feel good, but it is only temporary. Love is putting the needs of others before your own needs. Jesus was the perfect example of love when He died on the cross for our sins. We did not deserve His love because we rejected Him and constantly committed sin. We constantly did things that were opposite of love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 You say that you have no demonstration of love because your mother or your father did not love you. You may feel like your children or parents are against you and you do not have a best friend. But if you seek God and you see Jesus for who He is then you will know real love. You just need to open your heart and your mind and have faith that God will save you and will love you and take care of you. When you are ready, care completely. Love completely. All the selfish self-gratification should be put aside for the needs of another. Be careful who you choose to love and not quick or you may be at risk to stumble. Make a conscious decision to love and cast out your hurt. At the same time when someone shows that they need love and kindness and you are a witness to this, give it to them. You don’t have to hang out with people you don’t want to be around, but definitely make a conscious effort to show them mercy without the expectation of reward.  He Cannot Lead You If He Does Not Love You: Change The Game
You are asking for the wrong man to lead you Sis. Does this resonate with you? Does he come to mind? If so keep reading. You choose to love him because he has everything in common with you. Everyone says you would be cute together with him or you are cute together. He shows you attention sometimes. He talks to you. He follows you. He seeks thrill, he wants your affection. He speaks harshly to you. He offers you conditional love. He alienates you. He moves your heart. He always wants an ego boost from you. You hold back affection. He keeps coming for you. He seeks out attention from other women that are nowhere near your level. Sis, Don’t give him the attention he doesn’t deserve. He does not earn your love. Act normal. Be calm and in control. You don’t need him being in control of your life. Don’t text him. Don’t try to be friends with him. Don’t let him into your heart. Your only exception should be when he begs for your affection under your terms and conditions. Otherwise, he’s just playing mind games with you and doesn’t want to give you any real love. Don’t you want to have a serious relationship and a real mature love exchange? If you keep letting him play games with you from the beginning of your relationships that is all it will ever be. A game. You think that other girls are making it harder to find good guys because they are lowering their standards and giving him the goods before he buys the cow. But now you are slowly becoming one of them, like a cow to the slaughterhouse. Soon you will be nothing but a hamburger crushed by your crush…And unable to escape the pains of excretion as he uses you for your nutrients and then releases you suddenly and quickly. Be the change that you want to see in the world and God will bless your future in relationships. If you want a real love exchange stay true to yourself and don’t give in to breaking your morals. The cards are in your hands. You have the power and you are stronger than you think. Don’t put yourself in situations that will tempt you. If women and girls all around the world were led by Gods will when they started a relationship with anyone, there would be less heartbreak. Men would step up to the plate of what they are supposed to be doing because now the game would be changed. They would respect and value us more if we set expectations and requirements. Communicate what you need from him. There would be more commitment, standards, and respect in relationships. It is hurt people that hurt people. When you are hurt by someone it is up to you to let it fester up inside you and take your revenge out on another innocent love, or to let it go. You need to let your hurt go Sis. You are only hurting yourself in the process if you keep dwelling on negative vibes. You think you’re his soulmate, but he does not feel the same. I know it is difficult, but if you pay attention to the obvious warning signs as soon as possible it will save you eons of heartache and course correction. A man who does not love you cannot lead you. |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
September 2023
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed