CurlyDollTati #146

                                              Stop Stalking Your Love

    Everytime you see them your heart skips a beat. You breathe heavily. Your eyes cannot stop staring at them. When they are around you can sense it with your whole body. You can single out their voice from the crowd behind you. You subcontiously submit to them in every interaction or forcibly do the opposite of how you feel. You look up to them and their actions become your greatest desires. Your heart yearns to be one flesh with them. You have visions of marriage, visions of children, and visions of being together with them. You mirror them whether you like it or not because their spirit becomes your mini god. This is called lust and it is not love at all. When you begin to see yourself with someone and want to be with them in a marriage or romantic relationship put a harness on your feelings. 

                                         Being Used and Not Chosen

It can be very dangerous to have these feelings when a man has not chosen you.  You cannot choose a man when he has not chosen you.  He may be just messing around with your emotions to accomplish a goal.  His goal is not always getting physical with you. It could be feeling popular or using you as a back up plan.  There are men in the world that make it a game to have as many female interests and choices as possible. Women are not sneakers, gadgets, or ice cream flavors and you should not allow yourself to be that for any man. If you find yourself following him and stalking him on social media, distract yourself with positive activities and interactions. Find some Curl Friends to hang out with. Remove youself from his view. Find the bigger picture.  


           I’ve Chosen To Love Him So Why Doesn’t He Love Me?

Sometimes when you decide in your mind that you love someone it is very hard to stop trying to love them. It means you want to be around that person all the time.  If the person is a stranger to you it can be difficult for them to interact with you if they don’t have the same intense feelings about you. It doesn’t mean that they can never love you. It just means that they are not in the position right now to love you. Why? There are several reasons.
They could be distracted with another person of interest that they can’t get out of their mind.  Just like you, before you came along there was a list of girls or boys that your crush wanted to love. That could mean years of potential investment and you are just meeting them now.  It makes them blind to you. You could very well be in the the periferal of their mind as a back up plan in case things don’t work out with the main apple of their eye. 

They may have a broken heart they are trying to restore.  There may be emotional and spiritual healing that they need to deal with before they invite you into their world.  There are all sorts of layers of emotions that are felt during a relationship and after one that may just take time to diminish and eventually dissapear. This does not happen over night.  Your crush that just came out of a relationship may use you as a rebound or a fill in until their love comes back to them. Be careful how much interest you show to them. Do not interrupt their growth.    

He could be content with being single.  Most people come in the world alone and leave alone. Their days are spent going their own way by themselves. It can be very difficult to give up the freedom of being single and only having to be concered about yourself.  If you make it known that you want a relationship, marriage, and children a man might not be ready to talk about that stuff immediatley.  You may be feeling like you need to lay it all out there in the begginging to not waste time and you should. Advancing the conversation means that you care about your own needs and don’t want to waste anyones time. Beware of the single guy who has a different person in their bed or social media profile with heart emojies every week. He’s not in the position right now to love you. Love is not all physical. 
                                                        Love Game

The more that you call him, text him, stalk him, the less interest he has in you because he knows you will always be there. How do you attract someone who you love? There is no magic trick I can give you to suddenly make love happen for you. All I can say is be in close proximity to your love to qualify you as a candidate for the Big Match Making Game.  Do your own thing. There is nothing more attractive than a lady that has a lot of talent, interests, and goals.  Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  Love youself first and he will come. If you are waiting for the day when he’s going to wake up and say “Oh wow she’s the most beautiful girl, I wanna try to advance the relationship with her now.” You may be waiting 10 years. I always think of that song Never Ever by Ciara “If that boy don’t love you by now, he will never ever, never ever love you” https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ciara/neverever.html If you’ve let him know how you feel and he does not feel the same, take his word for it and make an effort to move on. “When people show you who they are, believe them”-Maya Angelou.https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/14/oprah-life-lesson-maya-angelou_n_2869235.html  There is nothing that can make a man love you or choose you. He must do that on his own.  If you think you can manipulate the situation you are playing yourself for a fool. 


                                            Late Night Text Messages 
​
If you are anything like a human you crave affection late at night through the early morning and all through the day. If you don’t fill your time with things you are interested in besides your love interests, you may be walking on a tightrope without a safety net.  You think you have it all under control and then something tramatic happens all because you were texting an insecure person.  Know that you are beautiful without having a man tell you. Your amount of potential dates or people who make themselves known to be interested in you romantically does not define your attractiveness. It does not define how smart or how good of a friend you are. It does not define how popular you are in outerspace to Heaven. If you wouldn’t be with a guy late into the night then you have no business texting him flirtatious ineuendo late at night. Just do you and don’t worry about no potential Boo. Remember if he can’t respect your beauty rest now then he won’t respect your beauty rest later when you’ve got kids and he’s at home all day pushing his career as a content creator. Serious conversations are better saved for morning or afternoon. Do not let him have the power to claim your soul because of a simple fleshly desire. 

                                              Infatuation Critisized 
  
 When you are a woman or man of a certain age, you look back at your life and you realize that you have had many a love whome you have given your heart to whether they know it or not.  Pieces of your heart are with them in a spiritual sense because their lack of affection for you took a tole on and shaped the current state of your heart. Because of the lack of love from these men your heart has chosen, you may develop trust issues.  There are a few men that stand out from the crowd because of how it impacts you emotionally.  What is meant to be will be. You cannot force a relationship or a friendship. Sometimes when you have decided to love someone as more than just a friend it can put a tole on even becoming friends because your energy is too strong. You would do anything for them, but they do not want you in their life. Friendship does not happen over night and neither does love. Temporary love is infatuation. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotton Son, that whosoever beliveth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. This is a true representation of love. Our task in loving one another is to love more like this example. We cannot love exactly like God and how much God loves us, but we may simply try to put others needs first before ourselves. If that means waiting on the man of your dreams to be emotionally and mentally ready to love you back, so be it. If that means giving him up to another woman because he has chosen her, so be it. Be satisifed, feel complete, and be content with yourself because you have truly loved him by giving him your whole heart.  You don’t need to follow him any longer. You need to let him go. 




Disclaimer: (This has nothing to do with ignoring anyone and it has nothing to do with any person. Just some Women to Women advice.)