 God accepts me as I am. In this world there is so much hatred towards women. Not only is there hatred towards women, but there is so much hatred towards women of color. There is indifference and a lack of concern for us in the atmosphere. It sucks and it's hard to cope sometimes. It is especially hard to cope when your own people who look like you are not concerned about you. There is a misconception that Black and Brown women "don't need no man." There is a misconception that Black and Brown women can handle the load. We are strong because we have had to be to survive. We've pushed through. We are still fragile and need love just as much as other races. When we are constantly abused and mistreated it takes a toll on our state of minds. It causes a chain reaction and it causes mistrust. We build our walls and close our doors. Although the perception of Black and Brown women may never be able to change in our lifetime we can still control how we view ourselves and the people who we let into our lives. We must remember that God accepts us as we are so we can heal. We must love ourselves and affirm ourselves a little more than the next woman who gets affirmed every time she walks outside. This may not be your reality but it's the reality of many. I ask that you are respectful to peoples perspectives. Protect the women around you of all races. Go the extra mile to protect the integrity of the Black and Brown women around you. We need kind and understanding people around us even when we are under the influence of our pain. Remember that God accepts you as you are...whoever you are.
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 Do you ever get people who point out something about your physical appearance and try to make a joke out of it? Well...it's not funny. Maybe people should think about what they say before they say it. If it does not have a real impactful meaning, then people should just keep their mouths shut. If somebody has a physical trait that they cannot change without getting surgery or if their hair is naturally a certain way, people should not point out those things. Let's say somebody has gray hair and they are really young...They can't change the way their hair grows out of their head. They should not be expected to dye their hair. It's not okay to make fun of them. Just because something is different does not mean it is bad. A lot of traits that are unique and rare make people really beautiful. It makes people stand out to be able to share their lifes story. It draws people near them. Don't hate. Appreciate people for who God made them to be. Uniquely Beautiful.
 Indulge on Sundaze
Why? Everyone needs a break during the week to unwind and to cheat on our diets because not every day is guaranteed. That is self love. If you like ice cream eat it. If you like vegan ice cream, then eat that. So creamy and so rich. Taste a rainbow of flavors. Don’t let anyone make you feel awful for what you are eating. No matter what size you are, you are entitled to ice cream or any food that you enjoy at least once in a while. If someone is telling you that you shouldn’t eat something and gives you good reasons, if you feel convicted then don’t eat it. Maybe it is a sign that you should try alternatives. Be at least open to hear new ideas. There are so many diets out there. You don’t need to go on diets. Diets are only for short term. Change your lifestyle for your own health. Thoroughly do your research as you start new lifestyle changes that your body is not used to. If you want to go vegan, it is not good for your body to suddenly not have protein and eat a lot of soy. Find healthy and organic alternatives to meat and transition slowly. If you feel it is best for your body to continue to eat meat, then do what makes your body feel energized. Vegans should not judge you for what you eat and you should not judge vegans for what they don’t eat. Don’t fat shame people. If you feel so concerned about someone else's body take more care of yours and set a good example. Befriend people of all sizes and looks. They have a soul just as you do. Advance your relationships. Sunday is a good day to get grounded in The Word and eat ice cream. Work out all week and Sunday should be your cheat day. Eat unhealthy all week and this Sunday should be your transition to a healthy and happy life full of flavor. Indulge on Sundaze.  First Grade Hair What is First Grade Hair? Are these girls in the First Grade? Well, that’s up to you. If your First Grader wants to wear this t-shirt it might be relatable to them that these girls may be in the First Grade like them. The reason I made this drawing is because I want to cut the drama with hair types. Women and men are quick to judge one another based off what kind of "grade or type" their hair is and I think it’s a sick and a twisted way of thinking. All types of people including ourselves want to grade brown people and put them into groups of beauty based off their hair and skin complexions. From the time these girls are in grade school and even younger they face the relaxer, Brazilian blowout, and keratin treatments to have straight hair. Some of them desire this because of how they are brainwashed into thinking their hair needs to be fixed. Some of them are forced to change their hair because of their parents. We are also brainwashed into thinking that everyones hair is supposed to grow at the same rate and we are doing something wrong if our hair is not as long as the next girls. Our hair growth rates are different. From the times of old in America and all around the world women with African ancestry were forced to hide their natural hair or change it. Have I got news for you. Here is one more person telling you to accept yourself for whatever grade of hair grows out of your head no matter if you have brown skin or white skin. Don’t feel bad because of the way your hair is in its current state. Have faith that you can get your hair back to the way it was or just accept yourself in the way that it is. Don’t think that you are any less beautiful because of a celebrities hair and looks or someone you found on the internet. These bodies will one day pass away, but it matters what is in your heart and soul. Work on your heart and soul and how you treat people. Your true beauty will shine through no matter what your hair looks like. Be accepting of peoples differences. Don’t hate on someone because they have a beautiful afro that commands attention or long, straight, silky feeling hair. Tell them you like their hair because they may be struggling with confidence issues and keep it movin'. If you are doing someones hair do not mishandle it. Treat it like each strand is a V.I.P. and actually listen to the person that is entrusting you with their crown. You have your own crown. Treat it with respect by respecting others. If you have what the masses consider “nice hair” don't be fearful by hiding it and don’t promote your hair as being better than someone else's. Every single person goes through hair struggles that are different. Take the time to appreciate the beauty in another person that is different from your own or different from what you consider "sexy beauty or hair". Hair trends change all the time but confidence is something that takes so much effort to develop. No matter what your hair looks like or doesn’t look like you can always develop confidence. Confidence is not an ugly thing. It is a practical thing. It is something that keeps people out of depression and it lets them not be ashamed of themselves and their bodies. Remember to embrace the way your hair grows out of your head. Don't let ignorance or jealousy win. The natural you is an original and you come First.  Oil Pulling and Wisdom Teeth Removal
I recently had my wisdom teeth removed. I know that they say that if you remove your wisdom teeth then your wisdom can be removed, but that’s not the truth. I used to believe that because I thought it was an unnecessary procedure. Nobody ever talked about their experience with wisdom teeth to me in detail. If I heard about someone getting them removed it usually was a teenager and they had not popped out completely from the gums. All four of my wisdom teeth grew in from about 2-3 years ago. A couple were under my gums for a while. Those suckers are hard to brush because they are so far back into your mouth and partly covered by gums. I also experienced mouth crowding so eventually it just hurt to floss and I couldn't fit the floss in. I began to notice black spots on my wisdom teeth. I knew they were cavities but I thought I could reverse them with the right stuff. It was not enough effort on my part because I let sugar sit on my teeth for too long all the time. They say you only need to brush twice a day and that’s exactly what I did. A Chipped Tooth One day when I was eating some scrambled eggs part of my tooth came off. It made me very sad and I cried when I went to church that morning. At that moment I was feeling like I had no control over my body. I thought that maybe it just needed a simple filling which I never had before. I began to feel more pain as time went on. The pain radiated from my back jaw up to my head like a migraine I had never experienced before. At the point of pain I thought it was a good idea to make an appointment with the dentist. First I had to find a dentist. Someone encouraged me to go see their dentist, so I did because it became an emergency. I thought “Who can I really trust with my body but myself? A recommendation is better than picking at random.” I felt the hole in the tooth getting bigger and the sharpness of it scraped my tongue after I ate a scone at work. That is when I broke down in distress. I could not wait any longer. I Need a Root-Canal What? The next day I went to see the dentist. I told them I needed a filling but they told me I needed root canal on my bottom molar. I knew that my molar tooth was also impacted by my wisdom tooth. It had been a very long time since I had seen a dentist. They took a whole pan of x-rays which I was very nervous about. I took spirulina and green juice before hand to try to counteract the negative effects of the x-rays. They even messed up on them and had to take them twice! I signed up right away for the root canal treatment for the next week. I went home and thought about it. I decided I wanted to cancel it because I hadn’t done enough research on what root canal was. Root canal is shaving the tooth, filling the nerve with a cement-like material, and putting a cap on the tooth by screwing it on. The cap can be made of porcelain which is preferred or another less expensive material. I am not a dentist so don’t take my word for it. Eventually I found a natural dentist that offered biomimetic dentistry. When I heard the stories of what that could offer I knew in my heart it was God leading me to another dentist that was more trustworthy. Oil Pulling My mother had already been oil pulling and so I decided to practice it more as well. It helps to pull the bacteria out from the mouth. Oil pulling is an ancient Ayurvedic technique from India where you take a pure and natural oil of your choice and swish it around in your mouth for 20 minutes every day. There is nothing that can replace flossing, but as an add on practice it is unique. When the oil gets thin enough to fit between the spaces in your teeth it acts as a form of flossing. It can be especially helpful for people that experience teeth crowding. The best oils to use are organic coconut oil and organic sesame oil because of their antibacterial properties. If you can’t do 20 minutes aim for 10 minutes at first and use a tablespoon. Brush your teeth first in the morning and then oil pull while you do your morning prayers, do your morning stretch, shower, make breakfast, or walk the dog. The time goes by fast. Spit the oil in the trash can because you don’t want the oil clogging up the drains. I was experiencing a huge amount of pain before oil pulling. When I started practicing oil pulling I noticed a huge difference. I was keeping the area with the chipped tooth molar free from food debris. The pain went from 90%-15%. I do not think it is a permanent solution to tooth pain or a preventative measure but I do think it can help tremendously if you need to wait before you get teeth work done. A Natural Dentist I changed my dentist to a natural dentist that was closer to my home. They squeezed my appointment in after I begged them. When I went to see them I had a lot of questions. Could they use Biomimetic Dentistry on my tooth as an alternative to root canal? Was their really an alternative to this “invasive” treatment to restore full function to the tooth? I got a second opinion from the natural dentist on the root canal procedure and asked them if I could use biomimetic dentistry to heal the tooth. They said I could not because the hole was too big. The natural dentist I went to was natural because they don’t use fluoride unless you request it, they are knowledgeable about natural forms of dentistry, their x-rays are low radiation and digital, and they have much stricter standards for their materials and equipment overall. A Second Opinion on Root Canal I was really disappointed when they told me their was nothing that could be done besides root canal. I only had enough money to pay for the wisdom teeth removal so I went forward in that process. I am still trusting God for the rest of the money for the root canal or any alternative that would suddenly become available. To donate : https://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/root-canal-for-tatiana039s-molar/ I.V. Sedation There are all sorts of ways to not feel pain during the surgery. Some people choose to be completely under in a medically induced coma or be completely awake using gas. The natural dentist I chose offered I.V. sedation. To be sedated in my case I would still be awake during the procedure but I wouldn’t remember the procedure (so I thought) and I would be very drowsy. I remembered everything during my I.V. sedation. I remember the dentist sticking an I.V. needle in my right arm and talking to me about being vegetarian. The dentist talked to me about my maltipoo dog named Malibu. I remember the prick of the needle and the sensation in my blood. It felt like I had my monthly cycle in my arm. I didn’t want to see the types of tools they were using on my mouth to yank out the teeth so I chose to close my eyes. I didn’t feel anything because they numbed the area. I remember hearing the sound of my mothers voice as she left to the store to pick up some pain medication suggested by my dentist (which I never took because I’m a naturalista). “All right Tatiana, you are all done. What is your name?” Says the Oral Surgeon. “Tatiana”. “What day is it?” “*blank stares*” “You have to be able to tell me what day it is before I let you leave. What day is it?” He persisted. “*thinking*….Thursday” I say eager to see my mother and not feeling my lips or tongue. The dental assistant helped me up and lead me to the chair in the waiting office. I signaled to her that I needed a chapstick bust she never got me one. There were some in the waiting room, but I was not sure if they were free or not. The dental receptionist told me that my mom was on her way. I could not move my mouth so I gave her a thumbs up. After Wisdom Teeth Removal When she came back they told my mother that they could not save my teeth that I requested to keep. It was a biohazard for them to let me keep them. As we left the parking lot I jokingly shook my first at the window as if to say, “How dare you keep my wisdom teeth and do this to me!” But I always shake my first so that’s normal for me. My mom helped me up the stairs at home and I still couldn't feel my face. I had gauze in my mouth. I signaled and wrote to her for whatever I wanted to do, eat, and drink. I cried a lot and my emotions became heightened. I texted some of my friends and family what was happening and how much pain I felt. The pain got worse as the numbness wore off. I took a nap for an hour which felt like 10 minutes and I couldn't watch tv or hear any loud noises for a while because of the migraine headache I was experiencing. I cried because I was in pain and I felt like I couldn't sleep it off because it was too distracting. As the day went on the headache went down and I was able to distract myself with movies and tv shows. I ate acai bowls, smoothies, pureed beans, low sugar vegan ice cream, and applesauce with almond butter. I drank plenty of alkaline water and had taken arnica pellets. Mom made a chart on a dry erase board of when I should take my next dose of antibiotics, eat, salt-water rinse and drink water. There was a lot of blood that came out of my mouth. At one point I thought my dissolvable stitches came out because a piece of my gums was hanging loose. Eventually it just came off. My mom bought me a tiny pink whale with bulging glitter eyes which I stared at throughout the day. I am grateful that she took care of me. The Recovery Process Throughout my time at home I drew pictures for curlydolltati.com, watched movies and tv shows, and browsed on social media. When I came in for work on Monday I still felt a lot of pain in my gums. I couldn’t open one side of my mouth all the way and my day job requires a lot of talking. I was not allowed to drink out of a straw or lift anything heavy. Eventually after forcing myself to talk and laughing at my coworkers jokes I strengthened my jaw muscles so I could talk like normal the next day. Random sharp pains were felt underneath my tongue. I still feel them. Right now I am avoiding sugary foods and hard snacks. If I do have something sweet I brush my teeth right after to avoid it sitting on my teeth for long. I also remove the debris from the holes that are healing up with my flossing toothbrush. I keep another toothbrush, toothpaste, and dental floss at work and in my purse so I can brush after meals. I have to make sure I drink plenty of water to avoid getting dry sockets which can be uncomfortable and painful. I don’t have them. Having my wisdom teeth removed became a huge relief when it was done. I had a lot of pain after the procedure but I felt much better afterwards. My Follow Up Appointment and Teeth Cleaning For my follow up dental appointment I had a teeth cleaning. If felt good to have my teeth powerwashed. If felt like a gum massage. It only hurt for a second behind my bottom teeth when they used the scraper. My teeth looked polished. They also did laser bacteria removal on my gums to help the holes from the extractions heal faster. I do notice a difference because the holes look smaller now and that was 4 days ago since writing about it. I floss every day now and it is much easier. The dentist says I can go back to oil pulling in 2 weeks so I am looking forward to that. I am also avoiding caffeine from my beloved matcha green tea so it won’t stimulate the nerve in my tooth until I can save for root canal. Having a functional and beautiful smile is necessary. Now I realize the weight of the different problems people struggle with when it comes to their teeth. Most of us need our smiles in tact to feel happy and confident. Having a beautiful smile might just get a person their job, attract a person their love and friends, create an atmosphere of professionalism, and let people know their financial status. Having a functional and beautiful smile means you have the freedom to eat what you choose and smile without criticism. Nutrition is very important for us to maintain our smiles. If we eat a ton of sugar we forfeit our right to choose and let the dentist choose for us. A lot of invasive procedures and treatments could be prevented if we stay awake, aware, and if we have the mentality to maintain the blessing that we already have without judgement of another. Just Smile:) To help me get a root canal and stop the pain: https://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/root-canal-for-tatiana039s-molar/ |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
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