CurlyDollTati #167

                              No More Empty Promises. It is My Decision
  
   It is wrong to make empty promises. What brings promises to be so empty? Why are people not coming to a decision before they make a promise? A promise is a promise. People should not let their hurt make them treat people the same negative way that they were treated. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”- Matthew 7:12


                                          Make Words Mean Something
    Sometimes people don’t promise to be there for people, but they give them a verbal agreement.  Make words wholesome to create an honest and true personality. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”-Ephesians 4:29 People shouldn’t give people their least. She gives her best. She does not let people feel disappointment when she is not there for them.  She lets people feel blessed that she is around. “Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her..”-Proverbs 31:28 People will not feel blessed or miss a person if they keep canceling on them.  If a person only shows up every now and then they won’t be able to sustain a relationship that way.  We make decisions all day long like what latte we should order or what shoes we should wear, but when we include people in our decision making we should be careful to stay true. If people feel like they need more time to think about a decision they should take that time for themselves to pray about it and mediate on Gods word. A woman should not promise a man they will get married to them if they don’t have all the facts and they are still deciding. Girls should not promise a friend they will go shopping with them next week if they have not cleared out a time and a date.  “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37  


                                  Overpromising, Decisiveness, and Lying
    If a person overpromises, that means they are saying verbally with their mouth that they are going to do something and then they do not take further action to make it happen.  If a person feels the strong need to commit, a smaller expectation is more manageable than a larger one.  Still it is best to not make promises a person can’t keep.  When people find themselves in situations where someone makes a promise to them and they feel under pressure to make a promise back, they should stand firm.  Use phrases like “Hey, I’ll get back to you on that when my schedule clears up.” “No, I really don’t think that’s a good idea at this time.” “I need some time to think about it.” “Right now it’s a lot for me to commit to.” Or “I’m not convinced at this time.” “I’m looking forward in hope.” “I’m praying about it.”  Sometimes not making a decision can be a terrible option but it’s up to you to decide when is the right time to take a leap of faith.  People should not expect people who have already made up their minds to wait around for them too long to make a strong choice.  “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”-Matthew 18:20 God does not change His mind and neither should anyone. If a person changes their mind it is a human trait. Strive to be decisive before coming to a verbal agreement. “God is not a man, so He does not lie.  He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?"-Numbers 23:19 

                                                      Disappointing People
    Disappointing people is embarrassing. It makes people look flakey and inconsistent. It makes people look forgetful. It also makes people look like they’re not appreciative of the time that other people took out of their day to be with them or work with them.  When people are sick, they have an excuse to cancel on people.  The person who you made arrangements with should understand suffering because of an illness or injury. Sometimes people disappoint people and it could be they have been struggling from a mental disposition or pain. A lot of people struggle mentally with different conditions that they cannot control.  However, if they feel they have more control over it and they’re just not putting in the work, better late than never to change.  No one has the right to say that a person does not have a mental illness or disposition if that person feels like they do.  Sometimes the disposition is temporary, but only the person dealing with the pain can know what they are truly going through.   Disappointing people can be necessary for better self help and mental help.  Sometimes minds do change and that is perfectly okay.  People should not make a habit out of changing their mind, but they are perfectly in the right to if they discover something that is a game changer. They are also in the right to change their mind if they need to take the time to work on themselves.  Self love is important, but what is self love without loving a neighbor?  No one can have one without the other. Love is prioritizing the needs and feelings of others. There are a lot of reasons why someone can feel disappointed by another person.  In all of this it is important to stay truthful.  If a person is unsure how to take the next step they should talk to God about their dilemma. They shouldn’t gossip to all their friends. Sometimes situations are allowed to happen because God wants to get people to rely on Him completely.  God wants people to develop thier listening skills and being in tune to what the voice of His Spirit sounds like. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”-James 1:19 “My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”-Proverbs 2:1-5             


                                             Healing From Being Stood Up
    Healing from being stood up is not an easy task. A lot of people hurt from this.  The reason a person may hurt is because it diminishes the value of how people see each other. All of the sudden a person who once felt special and important in a persons eyes, feels unimportant. It does not necessarily hurt less if a lot of people come through for a person. A person could be valuable to another person and all of the sudden they don’t feel secure in that relationship anymore. To be on a high and low rollercoaster constantly, is very emotionally exhausting.  A person begins to lose sense of who they are without people around them. Relationships can develop to be defining of individuals. Sometimes a lot of sacrifices are made, said and unspoken to keep the bond. Healing from it, people need to know themselves. People need to know their worth. A person needs more than just a couple people around them. A person needs to find many people that would be encouragements in their lives. Joining a connect group, volunteering, working, and learning an interesting hobby are just some ways that people can heal. Talking about their problems with friends and family who they can trust to keep their personal life private is another way that a person can heal. Sometimes people just need to vent or talk it out. Writing feelings down in a journal helps. A really helpful thing is talking to God and praying about problems. God wants to build a relationship with everyone.  “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Revelations 3:20 Unlike that boy that never called her back or stood her up for that date. Unlike her best friend that never seems to schedule the time to talk to her or see her. Unlike her family that never created a consistency of being there for her.  Remember this verse to keep well dealing with emotions from being stood up or disappointed: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 Try this prayer exercise: “I thank You God for [insert boy or girls name here]. I forgive them for [insert dissapointment]. Now I release them to You Lord to find thier purpose through Christ Jesus. Amen.” No more empty promises. It is my decision.  

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