 Put On Your Positive Pants
I asked my Curlfriend Amber what she would like to share with the world and she said "Put on your Positive Pants". I thought that was genius. It is a great quality to have when faced with uncertainty and doubt. Girls, when you feel like your stuck in a continuous cycle “Put on your positive pants.” When you feel like you’ve hit a wall “Put on your positive pants.” When you feel down and confused “Put on your positive pants.” When you’ve lost your direction “Put on your positive pants.” You don’t have to be a Negative Nellie. Sometimes people complain and make the excuse that they haven’t had their coffee in the morning. It is not nice to pass around bad energy just because you feel like it. Your negativity passes to other people and they may feel hurt because you didn’t smile back at them when they smiled at you. When faced with negative outcomes try to look at the positive side of the situation and distract yourself from thinking about negativity. It’s okay to grieve, but don’t keep it in your system too long. Practice thinking happy and positive thoughts on purpose and your mind will have them easily. Seek to be around positive people to keep your mind motivated and healthy. Refrain from complaining too much and saying the same negativity over and over. When you speak light to other peoples listening ears, they will feel happy to be around you. It’s okay to express your emotions, but when you are always negative and sad all the time, you have to question “who am I around that is a bother? Is it something that I can change about myself?” If it is someone who you need in your life that is making you sad, maybe you can flip the script and speak positivity on purpose until they catch on. You are not your emotions. You are not how you feel. Find your positive and “Put on your positive pants.”
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 First Grade Hair What is First Grade Hair? Are these girls in the First Grade? Well, that’s up to you. If your First Grader wants to wear this t-shirt it might be relatable to them that these girls may be in the First Grade like them. The reason I made this drawing is because I want to cut the drama with hair types. Women and men are quick to judge one another based off what kind of "grade or type" their hair is and I think it’s a sick and a twisted way of thinking. All types of people including ourselves want to grade brown people and put them into groups of beauty based off their hair and skin complexions. From the time these girls are in grade school and even younger they face the relaxer, Brazilian blowout, and keratin treatments to have straight hair. Some of them desire this because of how they are brainwashed into thinking their hair needs to be fixed. Some of them are forced to change their hair because of their parents. We are also brainwashed into thinking that everyones hair is supposed to grow at the same rate and we are doing something wrong if our hair is not as long as the next girls. Our hair growth rates are different. From the times of old in America and all around the world women with African ancestry were forced to hide their natural hair or change it. Have I got news for you. Here is one more person telling you to accept yourself for whatever grade of hair grows out of your head no matter if you have brown skin or white skin. Don’t feel bad because of the way your hair is in its current state. Have faith that you can get your hair back to the way it was or just accept yourself in the way that it is. Don’t think that you are any less beautiful because of a celebrities hair and looks or someone you found on the internet. These bodies will one day pass away, but it matters what is in your heart and soul. Work on your heart and soul and how you treat people. Your true beauty will shine through no matter what your hair looks like. Be accepting of peoples differences. Don’t hate on someone because they have a beautiful afro that commands attention or long, straight, silky feeling hair. Tell them you like their hair because they may be struggling with confidence issues and keep it movin'. If you are doing someones hair do not mishandle it. Treat it like each strand is a V.I.P. and actually listen to the person that is entrusting you with their crown. You have your own crown. Treat it with respect by respecting others. If you have what the masses consider “nice hair” don't be fearful by hiding it and don’t promote your hair as being better than someone else's. Every single person goes through hair struggles that are different. Take the time to appreciate the beauty in another person that is different from your own or different from what you consider "sexy beauty or hair". Hair trends change all the time but confidence is something that takes so much effort to develop. No matter what your hair looks like or doesn’t look like you can always develop confidence. Confidence is not an ugly thing. It is a practical thing. It is something that keeps people out of depression and it lets them not be ashamed of themselves and their bodies. Remember to embrace the way your hair grows out of your head. Don't let ignorance or jealousy win. The natural you is an original and you come First.  Care Completely There are those that take on the responsibility to care for and love another human being, but they are not prepared to love them completely. They fall in love at first sight with another person and they become obsessed over them for a while. When the honeymoon phase of their relationship fades, they don't love completely. They love only for a little bit. That little bit is enough to grow into unconditional love, but it is not mature. Love takes repetitive kindness and nurturing. It is very necessary that when you love someone you do not accuse or count the times when you helped them. You should not keep track of the amount of wrongs done to you because that is not real love. Love is sacrifice at the expense of your own well-being. The question remains what are you willing to sacrifice for? Some people sacrifice for animals and some sacrifice for the environment. Some people sacrifice for sports and others for government. Some sacrifice for children and some sacrifice for cars. It is important to know who you are going to remain loyal to. The human race is the most precious gift and to be one and the same with us is by Gods grace. From time began God calls us to love one another. Since God created us in His own image our first calling is to love and serve God. Our second calling is to love and serve people. Our third calling is to love and serve animals, the species that cannot fend for themselves with humans around. Humans have dominion over the animals. Our fourth calling is to love and care for plant species in the environment. We must never love these things more than we love our God. God does not want us to love the world, but to treat it with respect because it is a gift. People are one of the greatest gifts and things should be treated for what they are, replaceable. Peoples souls are not replaceable. You may be wondering what makes us qualified to love and care completely for another. I wish that I could tell you that it was simple and that you should just do it. But since actions are a part of love then it is not so simple. First comes the feeling of love and compassion and caring, but the feeling is not enough for the other party to feel loved or cared for. You must demonstrate your love. Some people think that sex is a demonstration of love, but it is not. Anyone can have sex with any person. Sex is self satisfaction and gratification. It is self pleasure. It is what makes people feel good, but it is only temporary. Love is putting the needs of others before your own needs. Jesus was the perfect example of love when He died on the cross for our sins. We did not deserve His love because we rejected Him and constantly committed sin. We constantly did things that were opposite of love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 You say that you have no demonstration of love because your mother or your father did not love you. You may feel like your children or parents are against you and you do not have a best friend. But if you seek God and you see Jesus for who He is then you will know real love. You just need to open your heart and your mind and have faith that God will save you and will love you and take care of you. When you are ready, care completely. Love completely. All the selfish self-gratification should be put aside for the needs of another. Be careful who you choose to love and not quick or you may be at risk to stumble. Make a conscious decision to love and cast out your hurt. At the same time when someone shows that they need love and kindness and you are a witness to this, give it to them. You don’t have to hang out with people you don’t want to be around, but definitely make a conscious effort to show them mercy without the expectation of reward.  He Cannot Lead You If He Does Not Love You: Change The Game
You are asking for the wrong man to lead you Sis. Does this resonate with you? Does he come to mind? If so keep reading. You choose to love him because he has everything in common with you. Everyone says you would be cute together with him or you are cute together. He shows you attention sometimes. He talks to you. He follows you. He seeks thrill, he wants your affection. He speaks harshly to you. He offers you conditional love. He alienates you. He moves your heart. He always wants an ego boost from you. You hold back affection. He keeps coming for you. He seeks out attention from other women that are nowhere near your level. Sis, Don’t give him the attention he doesn’t deserve. He does not earn your love. Act normal. Be calm and in control. You don’t need him being in control of your life. Don’t text him. Don’t try to be friends with him. Don’t let him into your heart. Your only exception should be when he begs for your affection under your terms and conditions. Otherwise, he’s just playing mind games with you and doesn’t want to give you any real love. Don’t you want to have a serious relationship and a real mature love exchange? If you keep letting him play games with you from the beginning of your relationships that is all it will ever be. A game. You think that other girls are making it harder to find good guys because they are lowering their standards and giving him the goods before he buys the cow. But now you are slowly becoming one of them, like a cow to the slaughterhouse. Soon you will be nothing but a hamburger crushed by your crush…And unable to escape the pains of excretion as he uses you for your nutrients and then releases you suddenly and quickly. Be the change that you want to see in the world and God will bless your future in relationships. If you want a real love exchange stay true to yourself and don’t give in to breaking your morals. The cards are in your hands. You have the power and you are stronger than you think. Don’t put yourself in situations that will tempt you. If women and girls all around the world were led by Gods will when they started a relationship with anyone, there would be less heartbreak. Men would step up to the plate of what they are supposed to be doing because now the game would be changed. They would respect and value us more if we set expectations and requirements. Communicate what you need from him. There would be more commitment, standards, and respect in relationships. It is hurt people that hurt people. When you are hurt by someone it is up to you to let it fester up inside you and take your revenge out on another innocent love, or to let it go. You need to let your hurt go Sis. You are only hurting yourself in the process if you keep dwelling on negative vibes. You think you’re his soulmate, but he does not feel the same. I know it is difficult, but if you pay attention to the obvious warning signs as soon as possible it will save you eons of heartache and course correction. A man who does not love you cannot lead you.  Typical Merican Gal!
Hey There Curlfriends. I created this drawing to try to erase the stereotype that there is just one particular look that a Merican girl can represent. As a Merican citizen and a brown woman, I have been told that I am “different” my whole life. “She must not be from Merica” they would say based off of what I look like. “She listens to different music, watches different movies, and wears her hair a different way. Let me just group her in my mind with all of the other immigrants who aren’t supposed to be here. I don’t want to go out of my way to befriend her because we won’t have much in common and different scares me.” Mericans come in all shades and shapes with all different backgrounds, languages, and cultures. Nobody has the right to tell anyone that they are not a true representation of Merica. No one race reigns supreme and has any real power over another. Mericans can live in unity. The world can live in unity. It starts with not pointing the finger at another individual or group of people. We really need to look at ourselves and what we choose to accept as normal. Representation matters. When we think about what we choose to entertain on a day to day basis it is movies, books, tv shows, social media, and our own favorite styles of music. For a child it can be all those things including dolls. If their dolls represent a friendship with them they may envision their dolls as a symbol of beauty. If they can’t see themselves represented as beautiful whether it is through a real friendship, a family member, or a doll they may look at themselves as not up to standard. To understand misrepresentation think of yourself as standing at the sink in a public restroom looking totally different from the 9 other girls that look identical that come in behind you. Now imagine having to interact with those girls on a day to day basis. “Look at her hair. Let’s try to get her hair to look like ours because we have beautiful hair. She must want to look like us. She must hate her hair.” Now imagine that same situation but one of those 9 girls steps out of the crowd and says to the different girl “I love your hair. It is beautiful and unique. Don’t let people try to change you. You are beautiful just as you are.” Merica has a rich history filled with many horrors and bravery. While Merica’s men were out fighting overseas, many women stayed behind to hold down the household. Jenny with the blue eyes pulled a red wagon full of bricks behind a white picket fence. Rosita with the wide hips carried a sack full of firewood behind a wire gate. Whether you are brown, black, white, red or yellow all the women who live in this country and are loyal to this country should be considered Merican. Adventuring and seeking out new places to live is nothing new. Everyone deserves a chance at a better life or even just a different lifestyle. This is why I represent the typical ‘Merican girl as a brown woman in her bathing suit with her bootie hangin' out at the beach. Looks only mean something to the people that care about looks. You are good looking, but how will you compete with the people who have good life strategy? Strength, power, money, happiness, love, intelligence are also very good and helpful traits. This is about survival. Your strong characteristics should replace the need for your weaker ones. Don't be fooled by those that seem to have it all. You are a survivor. You can BECOME who you want to be. Whether you are Merican or not, we are all connected and all deserve to call home our home. Claim ya land gal! |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
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