Why Should I Care About Chivalry?

              Topic: Why Should I Care About Chivalry?


To talk about chivalry first we have to define chivalry. Chivalry ties into traditional romantic values on how a man should treat the one that he loves. I went on dictionary.com and looked up the definition after I defined it myself. 
“Chivalry-the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms. “
I also looked it up on vocabulary.com 
“Men behaving courteously toward women-holding the door for them, offering them their jackets when it’s cold-is called chivalry. Many women consider chivalry a lost art.”
1.) “the medieval principles governing knighthood ad knightly conduct.”
2.) courtesy towards women


Valor -“Honor plus dignity. It’s gallant bravery and strength, especially on the battlefield or in the face of danger.” 
“strength, moral worth, courage.” 


Dexterity in Arms-“Mental dexterity means a sharpness of mind, or skill in thinking creatively and understanding and expressing something quickly and easily.” 


                         Why do we consider it a lost art?


From my viewpoint times have changed tremendously. Women are going overboard giving all of themselves too quickly to men that change their minds. Just check out the song “Fifteen” by Taylor Swift. A man shows just a little interest and since the man is really attractive to the woman and seems like he’s got it all together on the outside she thinks that he is “the one”. I am not saying that physical appearance doesn’t matter. It does. I’m saying that it is important to first see the physical, like it, and then dig deeper to find how he values you and treats other people. 


                                 The Age of Feminism 
Women keep saying that “we can do everything ourselves and we can do it better.” Well, there are certain things that men typically have more mastery, skill, and patience for. There are certain things that a woman has more of a skill and patience for naturally and biologically. That doesn’t mean that we can’t do it ourselves or do both. It just may be that they are better and more excited about it. For example, construction work, fixing cars, football, fighting etc. It takes a unique sort of woman to want to do these things and be skilled in it. There is nothing wrong with being skilled in these things as a woman. By all means, do what you love. But when it comes time to wanting to have a husband, you need to show him that you need him. Look on the flip side of the coin. How would it feel to you if the man you loved didn’t need you for anything? Where would your position be in the relationship? How would he value you? How would you establish your worth? Find out how your man or your potential mate feels about feminism and tell him your ideas on it. See if feministic views have a place in your relationship and how you both are expected to be treated.  I know you can open your car door yourself, but why should you do it if it’s your mans opportunity to show you that he loves you? Dating to marry is about giving to each other within reason and within safety limits. Don’t allow him to put you in what feels like danger to you for the sake of equality in the relationship.  You know your limits. Allow men to be men and there is nothing wrong to feel like a woman sometimes. 


    Why This is Necessary for Nesting, Mating, and Marriage


There are two other words that were part of the definition of chivalry. One was courtesy. 
Courtesy: Excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior 
This should be a no brainer but a man without manners is a loose canon.  Manners are instilled in children. If he hasn’t gotten it by now it’s unlikely that you can change him. You can train him for what you like but you cannot change him. True love softens the heart. How many of us can say we are truly in love? Some of us only hope. Love is dead without action. Common courtesy is respectable. Think about the purpose of marriage. It is not only for yourself and your own needs but to show to others an example of what love is. Jesus gave of Himself on the cross for our sins so that later when we have accepted Him we can be married to Him. While we are on the earth we love as an example of Christs love for us. The most valuable, genuine, and unbreakable covenant on the earth is the oath when we say “I do.” 


The other definition of chivalry was generosity.
Generosity: Readiness or liberality in giving
If your soon to be husband is not generous what is the point of that? What can he contribute to the relationship? Love is about giving mentally and physically. And when I say physically I’m not talking about your body. There is a place for that in marriage. What about giving with faith that you will receive your blessing later? Giving without the intention to get. That is being a loving person. You can be a loving person yourself and still test your partner to see if he is giving as well. Just because he does not give to you doesn’t mean that he’s not a giving person. The love may not have grown enough. Pace yourself Ladies. Let him unlock your gifts at a slow pace. 


                               How Can We Bring It Back
    It is nobodies fault that chivalry seems like it’s dead. We are accountable to set our pace and our plans from the beginning of a relationship. It’s not our jobs to raise men, because he should have already been taught. If your man is not chivalrous do yourself a favor and love yourself enough to require that of him. Be open enough and brave enough to talk about it. If he loves you he will humble himself and stay for the love of you. He needs to want to make you happy. He needs to want to please you. If he doesn’t love you then he will leave. Why do you need to stay with someone that can’t do a simple task of opening the door for you? If he is afraid of how it looks to other people and he’s trying to “please the boys” he will prioritize “the boys” over you. If he is not doing it because he’s afraid to give into you, you may not be enough Proverbs 31 woman for him. He may still have resistance because he is traumatized by someone from his past that mistreated him. But you are different right? It takes 1 minute more to open up the door for you. All of those minutes add up and you are worth the extra time because you have value. If you are going to treat your man like a King he’d better treat you like a Queen. If you consider yourself to be a Queen, act like one. Do not settle to be treated as anything less. Know your worth and your value. If you treat men badly you are undeserving. Love him and yourself enough to change. 


If you are a man reading this also note: 
 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


Love your Enemies “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:43-44